VETERAN MENTAL HEALTH: TWO PERSPECTIVES, ONE ‘STIGMA’
BY ANNETTE WHITTENBERGER & JUDY SKILLING
ANNETTE WHITTENBERGER
Annette is an Army Retired Combat Veteran, mother and military spouse. She is the CEO/Founder of A Wild Ride Called Life and Host of The Truths We Hide Podcast. She is a mental health advocate, writer, author and speaker. She is on a mission to help end the stigma on mental health and combat suicide.
The stigma on mental health and mental illness has been seen as an ugly thing. It is almost like saying a bad word that offended someone. No one wants to say the words and no one wants to talk about them. Well, no one except for those of us who are suffering from it and living with it. We are the ones who want to talk about it but don’t know how or to whom.
We are afraid to be seen as weak, as a charity case or as having something wrong with us. We are left to sit in a dark place with all of these dark thoughts and nowhere to put them.
So what do we do? The only thing we know how to do. We hide in our rooms. We cry. We isolate ourselves. We turn into someone that is unrecognizable because we truly don’t know who we are when we are in that dark place of emotions. The thing that we often forget about is that it is ok to not be ok. It is ok to let out those emotions. It is ok to have a bad day. It is ok to talk about it. We need to be the ones to put an end to the stigma and make our mental health a priority. We need to use our voice to share our story of how it really is.
One of the most difficult and probably the scariest things to do is acknowledge that we need help. Needing help and asking for it is almost like walking into that amusement park and riding on the first roller coaster you see AND in the front seat. You want to scream and your stomach turns because you know it is coming, but you are still not ready. No one said you had to go through the whole amusement park in one day. It is ok to get on one ride at a time. It is ok to choose which one you will ride first. Same thing goes for talking about your feelings. Find the right person that you can trust and start there. One emotion and one thought at a time. You. Can. Do. This. The only way I know this to be true is because I am that person. I know how it is. I know how it feels, and it was scary as hell.
You have that strength inside of you that has the power to make huge changes for yourself and others. It all starts with using your voice. I am in your corner as your advocate, friend and sister. Let’s get that power together to help end the stigma.
JUDY SKILLING
Judy Skilling is a Certified High Performance Coach and U.S. Navy Veteran with a background in emergency nursing. She helps veterans increase productivity without feeling overwhelmed, improve their wellness on a day to day basis and establishes a healthy work/life balance. Her work can be found in several publications such as Entrepreneur, Medium, Elephant Journal, and more. In her free time, she enjoys cooking, traveling, and having childlike fun with her young daughter. You can learn more about Judy at https://www.judyskilling.com . You can find her on Facebook and LinkedIn.
I heard a saying the other day that rang true to me on many levels. It was “Honor the soldier, Fear the Veteran.”
I couldn’t help but think how that is relevant in our society. We praise the solider, give them the recognition they deserve for sacrificing their freedom to protect ours, but when they transition out of active duty and become a veteran, we fear they may unleash and cause harm to us or worse, themselves. It is evident that with the rise of mental health awareness in recent decades, our veterans come home troubled and war-scorned. They struggle with adapting to a civilian lifestyle and then have to struggle with a mental health issue on top of everything else. They may feel lost, scared, unsure of what to do and then they do what they’ve been trained to do: stuff it deep within the depths of themselves, hoping that it doesn’t come up to surface anymore. We are trained in the military that you don’t speak up, learn how to deal with it yourself, and figure it out on your own. Those teachings don’t translate into the civilian world ,and that may be why thousands of veterans struggle with seeking help.
Veterans don’t speak up for several reasons. One reason is the social stigma behind certain diagnoses such as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Depression/Anxiety, TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), and any other mental health related diagnosis. When you come across someone with such a ‘label’, you may approach cautiously and trepidatious. “What will they do?”, “Are they ok?”, “What if they snap?” It would seem easier to not share such a label with those that don’t understand your situation than to explain everything, right? You don’t want to be labeled as “that guy/girl”.
Another reason is any possible repercussions that may result from a veteran seeking help. Will they lose their job? Will their employer treat them any different than their colleagues? What may happen to their relationships (friends, family, etc)? What if they lose certain benefits or privileges? These are realistic questions veterans face when dealing with a mental health issue. The diagnosis may cause more harm than help.
Addressing the mental health issue is #1 in curbing the stigma of ‘fearing the veteran’. There are tons of resources and assistance to guide, support and help veterans in learning how to deal and manage their mental wellness. There is nothing prideful in dealing with such issues on your own. In fact, it does more harm than good. The most humbling thing about being a veteran is that we got your back. We’re here for you, anytime, anywhere, any day.
Need help? Here are 3 tips to use
Swallow your pride and call for help. Reach out to the VA at 1-800-273-8255
Talk to someone, anyone! Reach out to another veteran, make a post on social media asking to talk to someone. There is always someone that will talk to you.
Develop your awareness of certain triggers and moods. Become proactive rather than reactive in your mental health.