FROM MY POINT OF VIEW:
STEP INTO YOUR HAPPINESS
By Cristie Remmel
Being Happy | Part 1
My disclaimer is that I am not a physician of any kind and what I write is from my own personal experience and point of view. Please seek professional help if you need to. The resources are there and yes; you are deserving.
Looking for answers (sometimes this phrase makes me think of Kenny Rogers song, looking for love in all the wrong places...I felt like that at times when I was looking for answers)
I began looking for answers as to why I was feeling so bad, why I felt so disconnected from the world. Why was I not happy? What was it that I needed to do? I began listening to anyone that seemed to have answers about “how to be happy.” One of the recurring themes was to “meditate,” but “how to meditate was more difficult than I expected” I couldn’t sit still long enough to meditate. My mind just would not shut down. Change isn’t easy. You spend years building your life the way you see it now, and it’s like being on a train that is going at 80 miles per hour and then wanting to change directions. It’s not gonna happen. If you don’t slow the train, then you can’t change directions. Unless of course you crash and burn and then you have to rebuild. I dont recommend crashing and burning; it’s painful...
Your soul is telling you that you are not in alignment
How do I know that my soul was telling me, screaming at me that I was out of alignment? Every time you feel the crab bucket (crab bucket explained in previous issues) hold you back and you become angry, sad, disappointed, etc… that is your soul telling you that you are out of alignment. I started analyzing every thought and feeling and I realized that beliefs are thoughts you think about over and over and over until you believe what you have been thinking; then it is so ingrained in you that you don’t question the validity of that belief after a while. That erroneous belief and all your baggage are on the train with you and you are so unconscious that you don’t stop to question anything. The crab bucket really likes this. Remember your brain is designed to keep you “safe, secure, and in the same spot because it loves you so much it wants to keep you safe” but that is the dysfunctional side of who we are.
"But Cristie, how do we change the train from continuing in the wrong direction?” Right? That is what you are asking, well, here it is. It is easy, yet it is the hardest thing you will do.
Be ready for the pushback from your crab bucket; it will go like this: “this doesn’t work, nothing will change,” or you will have anxiety and panic attacks if your crab bucket has a strong hold on you.
First: Start with paying attention to your feelings; how are you feeling? Especially when you are angry. Why are you angry? Are you wearing a mask for something else? Are you angry, or in reality are you disappointed, sad, overwhelmed, etc…? Pay attention, don’t be mad at the world when in fact you are just hurting, feeling lonely, or sad. Don’t take it out on your family or friends either.
Second: Let’s say you realize you are angry, but in actuality, you are just disappointed about something. Take a deep breath and realize that it’s okay to have those feelings. Then ask yourself what can you do right here and now to change a tiny bit of how you are feeling? Just a tiny bit? Maybe close your eyes and picture something you like. I like the ocean and sunny blue skies. So I close my eyes and in my mind I would see the ocean waves, I would imagine blue skies and a gentle breeze. It only takes less than a minute to do that. Open your eyes and see how you feel. Do you feel a little bit better? Then move on with life. That is it! You can put a tiny bit of a break on the train you are on, and if you do this constantly you will slow it enough to change directions.
Meditation
Soothing music: YouTube has a ton of meditation music. Experiment and set your timer to 5 mins and work on increasing that over time. Focus on the music and nothing else. If thoughts do arise, re-focus and pay attention to the music. When the timer goes off, you’re done. Don’t worry about doing it right, wrong, how long etc… just keep practicing, and don’t attach feelings to it.
Your inner being: Your soul wants you to live in harmony with yourself
Coming into alignment with who you really are is how you become happy regardless of any traumatic experience you had. You can’t change the past, it is done. Your journey hasn’t ended and you can’t stop living. Make the choice to live a good life and help others. You are deserving!
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'Thank You' to AT EASE! Veterans Magazine for giving me the opportunity to be a permanent fixture in her magazine. It is truly an honor to have a section dedicated to writing about anything from my point of view. I only hope that I write something that is worthwhile to read.